ONE NIGHT 4 MBA STUDENTS WERE BOOZING TILL LATE NIGHT AND DIDN'T STUDY FOR THE TEST WHICH WAS SCHEDULED FOR THE NEXT DAY.
IN THE MORNING THEY THOUGHT OF A PLAN. THEY MADE THEMSELVES LOOK AS DIRTY AND WEIRD AS THEY COULD WITH GREASE AND DIRT. THEY THEN WENT UP TO THE DEAN AND SAID THAT THEY HAD GONE OUT TO A WEDDING LAST NIGHT AND ON THEIR RETURN THE TYRE OF THEIR CAR BURST AND THEY HAD TO PUSH THE CAR ALL THE WAY BACK AND THAT T HEY WERE IN NO CONDITION TO APPEAR FOR THE TEST.
SO THE DEAN SAID THEY CAN HAVE THE RETEST AFTER 3 DAYS.THEY SAID THEY WILL BE READY BY THAT TIME. ON THE THIRD DAY THEY APPEARED BEFORE THE DEAN.
THE DEAN SAID THAT THIS WAS A SPECIAL CONDITION TEST. ALL FOUR WERE REQUIRED TO SIT IN SEPARATE CLASSROOMS FOR THE TEST. THEY ALL AGREED AS THEY HAD PREPARED WELL IN THE LAST THREE DAYS.
.
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.
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THE TEST CONSISTED OF 2 QUESTIONS WITH TOTAL OF 100 MARKS.
Q.1. YOUR NAME .........................( 2 MARKS )
Q.2. WHICH TYRE BURST ...............( 98 MARKS ).
* Front Left
* Front Right
* Back Left
* Back Right ....!!!
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Enjoy :-))
A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.
Sardar-why r all these people
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r others running?
Sardar had twins; he named them Tin Martin.
Again had twins & named Peter & Repeater.
again twins & named Max & Again d same. disgusted Sardar named them TIRED&RETIRED!
Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail".
Srdr gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs tree, sits on the Branch.
A man asks why he does this. Srdr:"I've been promoted as branch manager."
Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected". After much thought he wrote: Yes!
One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college. U know Why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...
Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants
Servant: It"s already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever – What will come first, Chicken or egg? O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.
Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave 11 cr after deducting tax.
Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back.!
Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet
Sardar :- why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it....
Sardar proposed a Girl......Girl said 'I'm 1yr elder to you'..........
Sardar said 'Oye No Problem Soniye, I'll marry you NEXT YEAR.
A Sardar & his wife filed an application 4 Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide, U"VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We"ll apply NEXT YEAR
Sardar's wish :when i die,i wana die lik my grandpa who died peacefuly in his
sleep not screaming like all d passengers in d car he was driving..
Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that's a mirror!
Sardar was writing something very slowly. Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.
Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab.
Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more..
A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning.
Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital. Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.
Srdr goes2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words. It is 'U R STANDNG ON D OXYGEN TUBE!"
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.
Sardar-why r all these people
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r others running?
Sardar had twins; he named them Tin Martin.
Again had twins & named Peter & Repeater.
again twins & named Max & Again d same. disgusted Sardar named them TIRED&RETIRED!
Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail".
Srdr gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs tree, sits on the Branch.
A man asks why he does this. Srdr:"I've been promoted as branch manager."
Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected". After much thought he wrote: Yes!
One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college. U know Why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...
Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants
Servant: It"s already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever – What will come first, Chicken or egg? O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.
Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave 11 cr after deducting tax.
Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back.!
Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet
Sardar :- why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it....
Sardar proposed a Girl......Girl said 'I'm 1yr elder to you'..........
Sardar said 'Oye No Problem Soniye, I'll marry you NEXT YEAR.
A Sardar & his wife filed an application 4 Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide, U"VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We"ll apply NEXT YEAR
Sardar's wish :when i die,i wana die lik my grandpa who died peacefuly in his
sleep not screaming like all d passengers in d car he was driving..
Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that's a mirror!
Sardar was writing something very slowly. Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.
Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab.
Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more..
A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning.
Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital. Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.
Srdr goes2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words. It is 'U R STANDNG ON D OXYGEN TUBE!"
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Thoughts from great personalities...
SWAMI VIVEKANANDA
In a day, when you don't come across any problems - you can be sure that you are traveling in a wrong path
WILLIAM SHAKESPHERE
Three sentences for getting SUCCESS:
a) know more than other
b) work more than other
c) expect less than other
ADOLPH HITLER
If you win you need to explain...But if you lose you should not be there to explain
ALEN STRIKE
Don't compare yourself with anyone in this world. If you do so, you are insulting yourself.
MOTHER TERESA
If we cannot love the person whom we see, how can we love god, whom we cannot see?
BONNIE BLAIR
Winning doesn't always mean being first; winning means you're doing better than you've done before.
THOMAS EDISON
I will not say I failed 1000 times, I will say that I discovered there are 1000 ways that can cause failure--
LEO TOLSTOY
Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself....
ABRAHAM LINCOLN
Believing everybody is dangerous; believing nobody is very dangerous...
EINSTEIN
If someone feels that they had never made a mistake in their life, then it means they had never tried a new thing in their life...
CHARLES
Never break four things in your life - Trust, Promise, Relation & Heart because they don't make noise but pains a lot?
MOTHER TERESA
If you start judging people you will be having no time to love them...
In a day, when you don't come across any problems - you can be sure that you are traveling in a wrong path
WILLIAM SHAKESPHERE
Three sentences for getting SUCCESS:
a) know more than other
b) work more than other
c) expect less than other
ADOLPH HITLER
If you win you need to explain...But if you lose you should not be there to explain
ALEN STRIKE
Don't compare yourself with anyone in this world. If you do so, you are insulting yourself.
MOTHER TERESA
If we cannot love the person whom we see, how can we love god, whom we cannot see?
BONNIE BLAIR
Winning doesn't always mean being first; winning means you're doing better than you've done before.
THOMAS EDISON
I will not say I failed 1000 times, I will say that I discovered there are 1000 ways that can cause failure--
LEO TOLSTOY
Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself....
ABRAHAM LINCOLN
Believing everybody is dangerous; believing nobody is very dangerous...
EINSTEIN
If someone feels that they had never made a mistake in their life, then it means they had never tried a new thing in their life...
CHARLES
Never break four things in your life - Trust, Promise, Relation & Heart because they don't make noise but pains a lot?
MOTHER TERESA
If you start judging people you will be having no time to love them...
Friday, February 8, 2008
Impact of a Possible US Recession in India
by B V Krishnamurthy on January 24, 2008 7:57 AM
Though no one likes or wants a recession, almost everyone appears (looking at WEF, Davos) reconciled to one in the United States. Meanwhile, politicians continue to downplay any fears of global repercussions, citing decoupling of the United States and other economies as a buffering factor. But what is the reality for countries like India?
It would be naïve to imagine that a recession in the United States would have no impact on India. The United States accounts for one-fourth of the world GDP and any significant slowdown is bound to have reverberations elsewhere. On the other hand, interdependencies between the US economy and emerging economies like India and China has reduced considerably over the last two decades. Thus, the effect may not be as drastic as would have been the case in the 1980s.
Even so, fears of a US recession led to panic in the Indian stock market. January 21 and 22 saw a meltdown with a mind-boggling US$450 billion in market capitalization being vaporized. An unprecedented interest cut by the Fed led to a bounce-back on January 23 and at the time of this writing, the benchmark index (BSE) has gained 2.5%, almost in line with Hang-Seng, Nikkei, and Kospi.
History might hold a clue here. The last time the bubble burst (2001–2002), the DJIA went down by 23%, while the Indian Index fell by 15%.
Much has happened between then and now. The Indian economy has shown a robust and consistent growth trajectory and the projection for 2008 is 9%. Indian exports to the United States account for just over 3% of GDP. India has a healthy trade surplus with the United States.
In other words, the effects of this recession on India may be quite distinct from those of the past. Here are some areas worth following:
1. A credit crisis in the United States might lead to a restructuring of asset allocation at pension funds. It has been suggested that CalPERS is likely to shift an additional US$24 billion to its international portfolio. A large portion of this is likely to flow into India and China. If other funds follow suit, a cascading effect can be expected. Along with the already significant dollar funds available, the additional funds could be deployed to create infrastructure—roads, airports, and seaports—and be ready for a rapid takeoff when normalcy is restored.
2. In terms of specific sectors, the IT Enabled Services sector may be hit since a majority of Indian IT firms derive 75% or more of their revenues from the United States—a classic case of having put all eggs in one basket. If Fortune 500 companies slash their IT budgets, Indian firms could be adversely affected. Instead of looking at the scenario as a threat, the sector would do well to focus on product innovation (as opposed to merely providing services). If this is done, India can emerge as a major player in the IT products category as well.
3. The manufacturing sector has to ramp up scale economies, and improve productivity and operational efficiency, thus lowering prices, if it wishes to offset the loss of revenue from a possible US recession. The demand for appliances, consumer electronics, apparel, and a host of products is huge and can be exploited to advantage by adopting appropriate pricing strategies. Although unlikely, a prolonged recession might see the emergence of new regional groupings—India, China, and Korea?
4. The tourism sector could be affected. Now is the time to aggressively promote health tourism. Given the availability of talented professionals, and with a distinct cost advantage, India can be the destination of choice for health tourism.
5. A recession in the United States may see the loss of some jobs in India. The concept of Social Security, that has been absent until now, may gain momentum.
6. The Indian Rupee has appreciated in relation to the US dollar. Exporters are pushing for government intervention and rate cuts. What is conveniently forgotten in this debate is that a stronger Rupee would reduce the import bill, and narrow the overall trade deficit. The Indian central bank (Reserve Bank of India) can intervene anytime and cut interest rates, increasing liquidity in the economy, and catalyzing domestic demand. A strong domestic demand would also help in competing globally when the recession is over.
In summary, at the macro-level, a recession in the US may bring down GDP growth, but not by much. At the micro-level, specific sectors could be affected. Innovation now may prove to be the engine for growth when the next boom occurs.
For US firms, who have long looked at China as a better investment destination, this may be a good time to look at India as well. After all, 350 million people with purchasing power cannot be ignored. This is not a sales pitch for India, but only a gentle suggestion to US corporations.
Though no one likes or wants a recession, almost everyone appears (looking at WEF, Davos) reconciled to one in the United States. Meanwhile, politicians continue to downplay any fears of global repercussions, citing decoupling of the United States and other economies as a buffering factor. But what is the reality for countries like India?
It would be naïve to imagine that a recession in the United States would have no impact on India. The United States accounts for one-fourth of the world GDP and any significant slowdown is bound to have reverberations elsewhere. On the other hand, interdependencies between the US economy and emerging economies like India and China has reduced considerably over the last two decades. Thus, the effect may not be as drastic as would have been the case in the 1980s.
Even so, fears of a US recession led to panic in the Indian stock market. January 21 and 22 saw a meltdown with a mind-boggling US$450 billion in market capitalization being vaporized. An unprecedented interest cut by the Fed led to a bounce-back on January 23 and at the time of this writing, the benchmark index (BSE) has gained 2.5%, almost in line with Hang-Seng, Nikkei, and Kospi.
History might hold a clue here. The last time the bubble burst (2001–2002), the DJIA went down by 23%, while the Indian Index fell by 15%.
Much has happened between then and now. The Indian economy has shown a robust and consistent growth trajectory and the projection for 2008 is 9%. Indian exports to the United States account for just over 3% of GDP. India has a healthy trade surplus with the United States.
In other words, the effects of this recession on India may be quite distinct from those of the past. Here are some areas worth following:
1. A credit crisis in the United States might lead to a restructuring of asset allocation at pension funds. It has been suggested that CalPERS is likely to shift an additional US$24 billion to its international portfolio. A large portion of this is likely to flow into India and China. If other funds follow suit, a cascading effect can be expected. Along with the already significant dollar funds available, the additional funds could be deployed to create infrastructure—roads, airports, and seaports—and be ready for a rapid takeoff when normalcy is restored.
2. In terms of specific sectors, the IT Enabled Services sector may be hit since a majority of Indian IT firms derive 75% or more of their revenues from the United States—a classic case of having put all eggs in one basket. If Fortune 500 companies slash their IT budgets, Indian firms could be adversely affected. Instead of looking at the scenario as a threat, the sector would do well to focus on product innovation (as opposed to merely providing services). If this is done, India can emerge as a major player in the IT products category as well.
3. The manufacturing sector has to ramp up scale economies, and improve productivity and operational efficiency, thus lowering prices, if it wishes to offset the loss of revenue from a possible US recession. The demand for appliances, consumer electronics, apparel, and a host of products is huge and can be exploited to advantage by adopting appropriate pricing strategies. Although unlikely, a prolonged recession might see the emergence of new regional groupings—India, China, and Korea?
4. The tourism sector could be affected. Now is the time to aggressively promote health tourism. Given the availability of talented professionals, and with a distinct cost advantage, India can be the destination of choice for health tourism.
5. A recession in the United States may see the loss of some jobs in India. The concept of Social Security, that has been absent until now, may gain momentum.
6. The Indian Rupee has appreciated in relation to the US dollar. Exporters are pushing for government intervention and rate cuts. What is conveniently forgotten in this debate is that a stronger Rupee would reduce the import bill, and narrow the overall trade deficit. The Indian central bank (Reserve Bank of India) can intervene anytime and cut interest rates, increasing liquidity in the economy, and catalyzing domestic demand. A strong domestic demand would also help in competing globally when the recession is over.
In summary, at the macro-level, a recession in the US may bring down GDP growth, but not by much. At the micro-level, specific sectors could be affected. Innovation now may prove to be the engine for growth when the next boom occurs.
For US firms, who have long looked at China as a better investment destination, this may be a good time to look at India as well. After all, 350 million people with purchasing power cannot be ignored. This is not a sales pitch for India, but only a gentle suggestion to US corporations.
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